Chapter 6: Hair-Raising Adventures

Relaxing your hair is like being in prison. You’re caged in. Your hair rules you. You didn’t go running with Curt today because you don’t want to sweat out this straightness. You’re always battling to make your hair do what it wasn’t meant to do

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Americanah

In my quest for hairstyles that I thought were sexy, powerful, intelligent, awkward, rebellious and nurturing, I also wanted to include both male and female hairstyles that fit each description.

Sexy Hair

Kristen Stewart

Kristen Stewart Sexy Hair

Kristen Stewart

She has the same facial expression in literally every one of her movies, but she never fails to have some of the most kick-ass hairstyles I’ve ever seen. I have to say that her sexiest hairstyle was the one she had when she played Joan Jett in the film, The Runaways (Dakota Fanning was a pretty close second).

Now, if we can just work on that face of hers…

Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp Sexy Hair

Well, Johnny Depp’s hair, circa 1985. His hair has always had – and always will have – that I’m-sexy-and-I-know-it vibe going on.

Powerful Hair

The interesting thing about power is that it can be both objective and subjective, often at the same time. Someone or something has power because of their position and place in the world, and the amount of power that we attribute to it. When considering what makes for a powerful hairstyle, I like to think of both the influence a person has within their specific field, and the impact they ultimately make on the world around them.

Jacqueline Kennedy

Jackie Kennedy Powerful Hair

She was such a regal woman, wasn’t she? Jackie Kennedy was undoubtedly one of the classiest women in politics during the 1960’s. Part educated businesswoman, part devoted soccer mom, this hairstyle has a seemingly unreachable aura of sophistication, grace and royalty.

Barack Obama

Barack Obama Powerful Hair

In my honest opinion, while Barack Obama is the most powerful individual in the United States, I wouldn’t say that he’s the most influential, per se. We give him all of the power simply because he’s the President of the United States, but not as a result of any of his personal beliefs or values. For example, the late social and spiritual leader, Mahatma Gandhi (who had absolutely no hair at all), had more influence in the world because of his ground-breaking and awe-inspiring concepts and ideas, although he had less power, in general.

Intelligent Hair

Emma Watson

Emma Watson Intelligent Hair

Yes, she will forever and always be Hermione Granger in the hearts of millions of people from my generation. However, her intelligence shouldn’t be tied to any character she’s played in the past or will play in the future. Not to compare apples to oranges, but Emma Watson is a lot like Jackie Kennedy in her class and sophistication. She’s beauty and brains.

A few days ago, one of my friends shared an article on Facebook covering the topic of femininity and the proverbial desire to live up to the so-called “Proverbs 31 woman” standard. It reminded me of a quote from Emma Watson during an interview she did with Elle magazine in regards to this shifting feminine ideal:

“If you want to run for Prime Minister, you can. If you don’t, that’s wonderful, too. Shave your armpits, don’t shave them, wear flats one day, heels the next. These things are so irrelevant and surface to what it is all really about, and I wish people wouldn’t get caught up in that. We want to empower women to do exactly what they want, to be true to themselves, to have the opportunities to develop.”

Well said, Emma girl. Well said.

Finally, someone who gets it, someone who isn’t afraid to speak up and speak out against the prevailing “traditional” gender roles and expectations we have even today in our society.

Case in point, intelligence is beauty, and beauty is intelligence.

Jim Carrey

Jim Carrey Intelligent Hair

Riddle me this: why is it that every time I tried to come up with an example of an intelligent hairstyle for men, I always gravitated toward comedians? Then again, I guess one does have to have a brain in their head to be that funny, especially Jim Carrey. I think that Jim Carrey is different from a lot of today’s comedians in that he’s brilliantly funny and witty. He knows how to crack a joke, make you laugh and make you reconsider all of your life choices all at the same time.

I have to admit, I actually had a hard time choosing between Jim Carrey and Matthew Gray Gubler, who plays Dr. Spencer Reid on my favorite television show, Criminal Minds. It’s probably because they both have that scholarly, yet informal look about them.

Awkward Hair

Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to welcome you to The 80’s, where every Members Only jacket came with a complementary bottle of Aquanet.

Awkward Hair 1

Looks like somebody got rickrolled at the hair salon.

Awkward Hair 2

I just … I can’t.

Rebellious Hair

Demi Lovato

Demi Lovato Rebellious Hair

I love Demi Lovato. She’s probably the only former Disney starlet whose music I actually enjoy, and who hasn’t gone completely off the deep end (*cough* Miley Cyrus *cough*). What I like about Demi Lovato is the fact that she’s not afraid to speak her mind and be herself. She’s not afraid to own up to her struggles and mistakes, and admit that she is, in fact, an imperfect human being and not some mythical, immortal entity.

Bill & Tom Kaulitz

Bill Kaulitz Rebellious Hair 1

Bill Kaulitz Rebellious Hair 2

Tom Kaulitz Rebellious Hair 1

Tom Kaulitz Rebellious Hair 2

Seeing as the Kaulitz brothers are twins, and they’ve had some pretty wild hairstyles over the years, I thought I’d include both of them here. If you’re not the hippest person in the room, and you don’t know who these two are, they are two of the four members that make up the alternative rock band, Tokio Hotel, formed in Magdeburg, Germany, in 2001.

A fan since 2008, I’ve been a witness to Bill’s and Tom’s hair transformations. At one point, I’m pretty sure Bill got a hold of that bottle of Aquanet I mentioned earlier. From black, spiked hair and long, blond dreadlocks, to the sleeker platinum coif and dark, classier dreads that they’ve got going on today, the Kaulitz brothers will always be the targets of hair envy.

I don’t care what anyone says. I want my future dreadlocks to look exactly like Tom’s.

Nurturing Hair

Ina Garten

Ina Garten Nurturing Hair

World-renowned cookbook author, Ina Garten – also known as the Barefoot Contessa – is the very definition of nurturing. For example, one of her cookbooks, Cooking for Jeffrey, details her many adventures in the kitchen while in search for the perfect recipes for her husband, and the rest of her family and friends. She’s basically everybody’s mother.

Sean Astin

Sean Astin Nurturing Hair

I’m not sure if it’s his role as Samwise “Sam” Gamgee in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, or the baby face. I mean, just look at him. I think Sean Astin’s hair and lumberjack beard give him a more relaxed, down-to-Earth appearance.